Scobleizer - Latest Comments in Geeks’ private hells

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Azzurra — Sat, 04 Nov 2006 23:22:13 -0000

Buon luogo, congratulazioni, il mio amico!

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Jack — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 10:28:09 -0000

Thank you for the reference Stephanie from AI list.

Great thought starter as I was sitting here this am thinking "oh poor me"----then I read the comments and started to count smy blessings- ("count your many blessings name them one by one and it will surprise what the Lord has done"-from a hymn I used to sing).

So while I am in my own percieved hell- out of a job for the first time in over 35 yrs- worrying about what to do next, h2 pay the bills (house, medical, Rx ect). My self esteeem is / was way too tied up with my job- what I do.. and yet these are all external----and now who am I.

You're right--not such a 'hell'. but everyones hell, is their hell and to each feels like a very bad place. Yet the reminders in this blog helped me for a minute to reflect on blessings, not feel so alone, AND feel like I have much more to be greatful for when I hear others' "hell"(s). Thanks for the perspective. Great blog and a great opportunity to keep remembering what AI (appreicative inquiry)postulates- we cannot creatively solve today's problems with the old gap analysis thinking--we must use positives-what we do, do well to help us create what we want. I hope I am listening to myself!
Thank you to all who shared.
Jack

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Robert Scoble — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 20:38:33 -0000

Garrett: let me know if I can help your family. You've been good friends to me. Thanks for sharing. You reminded me that not everything is hunky dory around me and to pay attention more to what really is going on.

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Michelle — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 09:36:51 -0000

I stumbled upon your blog today as I was checking out the front page of WordPress. I referenced it in my blog this morning. Hope that's okay! Very insightful. Thank you!

http://www.reginarescuemiss...

Re: Geeks’ private hells

SarekOfVulcan — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 22:44:35 -0000

s/CD/DVD

Re: Geeks’ private hells

SarekOfVulcan — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 20:37:37 -0000

Robert, I didn't tell you about that to make you feel bad -- I told you for the same reason that you blogged about your mom. Friends want to know, right? Besides, I figured you might already know, and would need an update.

And I have two cute daughters, thank you very much -- it's just that the younger one would rather play outside than geek out with Patrick over Second Life.

As someone above said, you earned what you have. So did I. I just wish I weren't dragging my daughters down with me. But, because of another friend, we have a three-bedroom house to ourselves for a few months, instead of scraping by in a 2-bedroom apartment. And you gave me an opportunity to just forget about things for a couple of hours, which was really important at that point.

(BTW, I found the box that had my Firefly CDs in it -- when are you leaving? :-) )

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Amit Goyal — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 15:11:31 -0000

Sometimes I feel frustrated when things don't run perfectly in my surroundings. Sometimes I start expecting from others that they should do their work perfectly although I know nobody is perfect in this world. Oftenly I remind myself that we should see good things in others rather bad things. And such kind of posts help me a lot to have positive attitude towards life...

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Greg Hughes — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 01:05:15 -0000

I should add that I am grateful for what I have today. I'm healthy and have a great job and friends in my life that are terrific people.

Life can be hard, but while it's easy to focus on what hurts, it's also important to take inventory of what we do have. I know that for my part, life is full of good things. It's powerful what an attitude of gratitude (as they say) can do. :)

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Greg Hughes — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 00:15:19 -0000

My own private hell comes from a suicide and the fact that I can't seem to take relationship chances anymore. The result is a life alone most of the time, which I am used to but it does get lonely from time to time. I can only put blame on myself, but honestly it's hard to take chances that could possibly involve serious loss. It's a self-protection mechanism, I am sure.

I was lucky that I heard from a great old friend today, after a few years of not being in touch. He was one of the people who was at my side after my son died. He told me today that his wife fell victim to Lou Gehrig's disease in the intervening years and today she's immobile and communicates with a laser pointer in her mounth and a letter board. It sounds very, very difficult.

In the worst of times I do what I can to help others. Mostly it seems like just being there is what matters most. Like when you throw a party and ask someone how they are, and then listen caringly even if it's hard to hear. We do these things for others, regardless of whether the benefit is ever returned - because it's important and it's right.

Another thing people don't always realize is that after the painful event has passed, especially when it involves the death of a loved one for example, those who still deal with the pain of the loss after most have moved on actually benfit from the gift of being asked about the loved one. I know I often wish I had more opportunity to talk about my son. But people seem to think that bringing it up or talking about it will make things worse. That's not the case, though. Quite the opposite.

I recently started writing a blog post of my own called "Ask me about my son" to try to explain it - the need to talk, that is, even years later. I put it on the back burner and haven't posted it because it's so personal, but you've made me re-think that decision. I'll have to mull that one over. His birthday is in a week and it's been on my mind even more lately.

Anyhow, thanks for the place and opportunity to talk, Robert. You're a good man.

greg

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Stan Mackey — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 17:53:13 -0000

Robert, You never cease to amaze me. I feel really bad I didn’t circulate more and get to me some of those folks you mentioned. I’m better in small groups. These stories however are extremely touching. Nikki, wow for age 15, you seem to be very mature and strong as well. Very, very sorry you have to go through that at such an early age. At any age it is tough as Robert can attest. I lost a brother when I was 12 (he was 13) and it was difficult at the time. 37 years later, I just have happy thoughts now when I think about Dan, his smile & his happy personality. I also realize he is in no more pain and in a better place. It’s comments like what has been shared here that make me stop and feel appreciative for the health of myself and my family and also give me the desire to keep an eye out for the less unfortunate and lend a hand, whatever way I can. Thanks Robert for sharing what I’m sure most of us missed on Sunday.

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Cherie — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 15:32:21 -0000

I just read all these comments and appreciate my life as it is even more. Sometimes I get bummed out about things not going the way I'd like them to but overall I guess I have it pretty good.

I also can sympathize with everyone who has posted their private hell here. Everyone goes through tough times and no one wishes that on anyone else. I can't help with illness, death in the family or relationship issues, but maybe I can be of help with jobs? I know many of you know the company I work for already, and may or may not have a good opinion of us based on your experiences with employers hiring through our site.

But - I'd still like to suggest an RSS feed of the jobs you're looking for to keep up with new opportunities that could be right for you and better than the current job you're looking to get out of.

I have been here for a while, but what I remember about my last job search was that it was all about scouting out opportunites as soon as they came available (online & offline) and staying as positive as possible. I hope I can be of some help with that.

http://rtq.careerbuilder.co...

thanks

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Robert Scoble — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 15:13:53 -0000

Oh, and interview your dad about EVERYTHING. Family history, stories, etc. Get it on tape for your own kids that you might have some day.

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Robert Scoble — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 15:13:11 -0000

Nikki, what a great attitude on life! One thing, be there as much as you can, even if you weren't close. It helped me deal with my mom's death. We weren't close either, but holding her hand DID matter in the end.

Re: Geeks’ private hells

nikkimarie — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 15:07:17 -0000

Really great post. Made me take a moment to really count my blessings...
My private hell just started a week ago. My dad has just been diagnosed with really advanced cancer (not sure what kind it is yet, but the biopsy should come back tomorrow). It's spread so far that we know the average time left is about a month or so. It's really tough on my mom (not so much me, because im not that close to my dad). It really hurts to see her so upset about it. She's worrying about everything and having to raise me (I'm 15) without anyone there with her..

My feeling is, everything happens for a reason; Either someone will learn from it or the situation will turn into something good in the long run...

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Robert Scoble — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 14:04:17 -0000

Jenn, too bad we didn't know you earlier. Maryam has a movie and book club which are great fun, she tells me (she won't let me attend). But, I can only imagine. My ex-boss moved to London and his wife had a tough time of it too.

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Jenn — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 13:28:47 -0000

My personal hell is uprooting our lives and coming here to the US (hubby was in MS back home and now he's here), but it's getting much better.

I'd come to the US only once before for our honeymoon in LA Oct of 2003.

While Seattle is very different from LA, and no matter how many times we exclaim, "Hey, that's exactly what we saw on TV back home!", nothing prepares you for things like loneliness, the worry of not belonging, the foreignness of people and places and systems and even things like groceries and driving. The culture shock can last months. It's still affecting me, while my kids have already adapted, as though they're born here, and my husband is too busy at his job to be affected by how far we are from anyone who really cares about us.

People in my country consider it very very lucky for us to even have made it this far. Truth is, I don't feel very lucky. Good thing is, the challenges posed by this move has made me a better mom and wife, and a person as a whole. And this is what adversities in life do - they build character.

Your friends will never take for granted the relief of a simple meal and a good night's sleep, or the response of a smile from their sick child ever again, just as I will never ever take for granted my parents, the people who love us back home, and the country we left behind, again.

For me, those are gift enough.

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Sterling (Chip) Camden — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 13:24:39 -0000

Yes, I gave Robert the benefit of the doubt in his wording -- but I used it as an opportunity to voice my love for my son in spite of his disorder -- maybe even amplified by it.

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Pete Prodoehl — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 10:30:11 -0000

Well, I'm happy to report that I've got my health, now if I can just find full time employment, I can stop selling my bodily fluids and get back to work trying to improve the web and actually pay my bills... And so far, blogging has not helped me get a job, despite the fact I've been doing it since 1997...

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Yuvi Panda — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 10:22:50 -0000

Sorry. I didn't read all those comments.... Compared to what all those people had undergone, I'm in heaven. Just knowing about that makes me grateful... Sorry if I sounded insensitive.....

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Paul B — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 09:53:00 -0000

Five years ago my father was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis, a terminal illness that effects the lungs. For that period I've slowly watched him dying, seeing him get weaker and weaker by the day. My personal hell was witnessing a mans demise, who has done so much for me and there was absolutely nothing I could do for his health.

About 2months ago we got a call from the Hospital saying that they had a lung donor. Less than 12hrs later a donor had given my father a 2nd chance at life. What a wonderful gift to give. Truly a miracle.

The experience inspired me to blog about the process, for the moment we got the call and every step along the way. Now Dad continues to blog now he's out of hospital.. go check it out.. it's an amazing read.

http://benbrian.blogspot.com

These sorts of moments in life just reiterate the fact you can't take a day for granted. Every second counts. It's not such a matter than you need to be successful, or you need to get that job, or you need to be better than the person sitting next to you.. it's about being content with the person you are. Being able to go to bed at night with a clear conscience that you're doing something with your life.

My parter at work, Pragnesh (an Indian), taught me something very special a few years ago.. he said this "In the Western world we tend to look at the people above and say 'Oh I wish I had what they have.'.. which tends to cut us down. In India we do the opposite, we look at the people below us and we thank God for everything we have". A great philosophy that has touched my life.

Now in the mornings I wake up and I say a few words to myself when I look in the mirror. You might have heard of them before, they're from the movie Coach Carter.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Sorry for the extremely long post Robert but you got me thinking! = )

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Yuvi Panda — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 09:51:34 -0000

Does an annoying brother who keeps interrupting you while writing code count ? But I guess my stuff doesn't count, I'm after all just a small kid writing code....

You taught me a lot, and it's paying me off : I've been able to persuade my school Principal into reviving our School Magazine, and I've completed two interviews as Editor... .Thanks dude, and one day, I hope that podcasting and Videoblogging would really reach India....

Thanks dude, and do come down to India sometime.... There are plenty of opportunities for Vlogging and Podcasting here, driven out of reach only by the cost factor....

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Douglas Reilly — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 08:40:49 -0000

The interesting thing about folks who ask things like "How are you?" is that they generally really do not want to know. I recently had a call about a survey related to my health insurance (which is a big deal for me as I am battling cancer, and cancer had the upper hand the day she called).

She asked "How are you?" and I replied "Really feeling very badly today." Her response? "Glad to hear it." It took her a few moments to realize what I had actually said. I have had similar experiences when I am honest enough to say exactly how I am doing on those days when cancer or the treatment for the cancer is getting me down.

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Eric D. Burdo — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 08:15:34 -0000

First, I have to agree with met (comment #1). There are some things you can do something about. And some things you can't. There are many things that can be done for my situation.

My private hell? Paying back school loans on the income I make (less than 35 a year)... while trying to support my wife and 2 children. AND be in their lives. From what I have found, what I am making is good money for the area.

So, for now, we suffer through the insufficient income (think dark red (instead of "in the red/in the black"). Things are tight. And trying to buy a decent house is virtually impossible (by decent I mean 4 bedrooms with a 1 acre lot). Those run about 150k+. Can't afford it with my income.

What can folks do for me? Know anyone who wants a researcher in the hobby robotics area? The kicker? I need to work remotely. I don't want to leave the area.

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Pieter — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 06:50:35 -0000

Hi Robert, this is why I subscribe to your blog, not because you are, I mean, were, with Microsoft. But because to me you set an example of trying to be a very real person in a very technological and driven world. I really appreciate that.

Yes, we live in a fallen world with much hurt, and sometimes we don't see it, or are not confronted with it. But when we are, we hurt so much, because we realise it could have been, or may one day be, ourselves that stand to be in that place of "hell".

Thank you for your honesty. I am very blessed in my present situation, but I pray that your post and these comments will stir in my heart and in those of others the love this world so desperately needs. That we will really care and make an effort to have a practical compassion for people. As a Christian, I believe even the worst hell on earth is only temporary and limited to this life and that the best we can do is to live a life surrendered to the One who created us and to love our fellow humand beings exceedingly.

Oh, yes, in your "ex-boss" Bill we have an excellent example of this - trying to make a difference. What a priviledge.

Re: Geeks’ private hells

Anon — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 06:40:25 -0000

Life is not that bad for me at the moment.

While I'm not able to talk to my family and most of them that I grew up with and cared about are dead now.
I am not currently depressed or sucididal. I have friends and a beloved. I enjoy spending time with my friends. I can talk to my beloved about anything and they care for me as well as me careing for them.

I have a job that allows me to pay the bills (after years of poverty and not believing I would ever get out of it) and to have some left over. I like my job and am hoping for a contract longer than 3/4 months.

This is a good life. This is much better than the past. I have hope for the future.