Best wishes for your mom's recovery. One thing: don't trust what the doctors tell you if the news is all good. Pump them for information. Most of them are overworked and don't have time to stop and think about what may be going on, so you've got to shake it out of them. Think of an overworked programmer being asked by a user if "everything's OK"? Of course it is. Until you keep asking questions. I have a dear relative who went undiagnosed for abdominal pain because "everything looks fine" until the cancer had spread to the point it was inoperable.
Robert Scoble
· 3 years ago
Sterling: the news coming from the doctors is all bad. No good. They even think she may have cancer. We'll get results back on that tomorrow. Sigh.
My mom is very stubborn. I bet she was feeling pain for a while and not willing to go to the doctor. There's a lesson there that I hope I remember.
laubscher
· 3 years ago
Good luck and best wishes. I know there's HEAPS of people holding thumbs for you.
Chris G.
· 3 years ago
Best of luck.
Richard Hay
· 3 years ago
Robert - best wishes and prayers for you, your Mom and your family.
Darren Straight
· 3 years ago
Well I hope she get's better soon, because even though you are not very close like you say she is your mum and you will eventually end up in tears if you lose her!
Good luck to her, there’s going to be a log of people wishing her all of the best.
Ricky
· 3 years ago
She can be seriously comforted by pride in her kids, who reflect well upon her.
The Scoble commentosphere, fanboys and curmudgeons alike, would not exist without her.
mano
· 3 years ago
Good luck to you and your mom Robert!
Robert Scoble
· 3 years ago
Thanks everyone for your very kind wishes! Very appreciated. Has anyone dealt with stroke before? What should I expect?
John Anthony Hartman
· 3 years ago
Robert,
Our prayers are with you and your family. Educating yourself on the specifics is a good thing but don't let it get you down. A positive attitude makes a huge difference for you and your family. Hang in there and remember that the love of family and friends can carry one through the toughest of times.
Remember that your body tells you things for a reason. My dad did the same thing ignored the symptoms and ended up having a heart attack. He is doing well now but these events should be a lesson to everyone to take better care of themselves. We often get to busy in our lives or put our selves to the side to take care of others. I try to tell myself on a regular basis not to ignore my own needs when it comes to my health but often find the “suck it up” attitude of a John Wayne era still pervading into my psyche.
We are all hoping for the best.
Sincerely,
John Anthony Hartman
C.C. Chapman
· 3 years ago
Nothing but postive vibes sending your way dude. Hang in there.
John Anthony Hartman
· 3 years ago
Yes my aunt had a stroke and was paralyzed on the right side of her body. Depending on the severity it can be physically evident and a little unnerving. The best thing is to make sure all the physical therapy gets done. She may also need to have some speech therapy and both these can be very frustrating, I spent almost 2 years in physical therapy for another reason, so just be patient and encourage her as much as possible.
All our best!
Scott Royall
· 3 years ago
Good luck my friend.
H
· 3 years ago
I hope your mom gets well soon.
Jason
· 3 years ago
Hope nothing but the best for you and your family. Wish I could offer more info, but I was an Orthopod, not a Medical RN.
Again, good luck to you and your family.
John Wolf
· 3 years ago
Robert, we are sending extra angels your direction. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Sorry to hear about this. My dad had a stroke, and then another and then another. He eventually passed away due to pneumonia (after 5 strokes and about 10 years). Strokes can kill but they usually don't. They weaken you and something else is causes death. of course, as with anything, there are exceptions.
The level of paralysis is a variable based on the stroke, but it gets better from whatever the base conditions is, and is some cases is hard to discern after a couple of years.
If you want to talk ping me on email and I'll send you my cell number. I dealt with this over a long period (20 years ago now though).
Best Keith ceo/edgeio
zoli
· 3 years ago
Robert, this may be the one case where I wouldn't trust wikipedia that much, Google - while time-consuming - may turn out better results: medical journals, clinical studies, research papers ..etc. I know it's a lot to sift through, but you actually learn from top doc's vs. the "consensus" stuff at wikipedia. My mom was a cancer-suspect for a good 6 months last year, and we learned a tremendous amount of information. (She is OK now). Wish all the best to your Mom.
rick gregory
· 3 years ago
Robert,
Very sorry to hear this. I recently lost my Mom to congestive heart failure and even though she was 90, it was very hard.
End of life or potential end of life decisions about health care are difficult and emotionally wrenching. Talk about it with your Mom if she will, and make sure that she's made her wishes known. Keep in mind her welfare, act from the heart and you'll be OK. Most of all, take care of yourself - try to get sleep, talk to your friends and realize this is a part of life.
This might be presumptuous, but since we're both in Seattle (though I know you're in Montana for this)... if you want to chat with someone who's been there recently drop me a line. I'm at rick at rickgregory dot org.
Robert Scoble
· 3 years ago
Zoli: thanks. The more I watch the comments coming in, the more I realize that I've tapped into something special. Thanks everyone.
Jeremy Ezell
· 3 years ago
Robert,
I'll keep you and your mother, and family, in my prayers. God bless her, and may He help her towards a full recovery. We all wish you and she the best.
Molly C
· 3 years ago
Robert, I said a prayer for your mom. Hope she gets well.
Ola
· 3 years ago
Hope your mom gets well soon. Will be praying for her and everybody else who is going through this.
Robert W. Anderson
· 3 years ago
Robert,
I'm really to sorry hear that.
My father-in-law had a stroke. As I remember the most important thing was to get him into rehabilitation as soon as possible.
I'm sure the doctor's will have that in mind.
Good luck -- I hope it goes well for her (and your family).
Robert
Des Paroz
· 3 years ago
Hey Robert
Sorry to hear about your mum.
I hope there's good news soon.
Cheers
Des
Ahmer
· 3 years ago
Damn, that sucks. Hope she comes out okay. I'll include her in my prayers.
TDavid
· 3 years ago
Hope all works out with your mother, Robert.
Serge Lescouarnec
· 3 years ago
Robert
Sorry to hear the bad news.
My father had a stroke in his mid-40's and had to re-learn how to eat, speak, and most activities we take for granted.
He often felt frustated but his will power helped him recover quite well considering.
He did later have cancer and passed away before he was 50.
So in a way I consider myself lucky. I just turned 50 last week.
Keep your spirit, best of luck (merde as we say in France)
Robert, its going to be hard to know exactly how your mom is until you get there. Strokes can affect people in a variety of different ways, some lightly and others horribly. When you get there take the time with her. As you said, you two weren't that close, but at least you may have some time with her which is better than the alternative. I lost my father last year unexpectedly, and we were not as close either. I spent a long time filled with the regret of not having the chance to talk with him and try to bridge that gap one more time before he died. Take some time off away from here and send in Bubba if you need to. We will definitely give him a run for his money. You remain in our thoughts and prayers, and if you do take a break, please keep us posted.
David Ciccone
· 3 years ago
Robert, my thoughts and prayers are for you and your family. I wish your mom the best and hope things pull through.
piro
· 3 years ago
Best wishes, may God grant her healing strength.
Chench
· 3 years ago
So sorry, Robert. All the best for Mom and your family. Ken
Tom Streeter
· 3 years ago
Robert,
I lost my mom and the aunt who helped me through my mom's death this year. Needless to say, my thoughts are with your mom, you, and the rest of your family.
Say the things to her you need to say. Sing a song, say a poem. And be there for her. Whatever that means with your relationship.
Make the docs explain things (they likely will). And try to be there when the shifts change for the nurses.
And don't forget to leave the hospital and take time for yourself. You can't be there all the time.
Hang in there, Robert. Again, my best to your mom and your family.
Tejas Patel
· 3 years ago
I hope your mom gets well soon Robert and good luck to you too.
Hope things turn out well for you and your family.
Kami Watson Huyse
· 3 years ago
My great aunt had a stroke, and mostly what I remember is that it was frustrating for her. She used to square dance and the stroke left her unable to do it anymore. However, she showed great courage and was so appreciative to have family around, it really made her day. I am sure your Mom will be very glad that you are coming.
Though you say that you aren't too close to your Mom, I hope this gives you a chance to draw nearer. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Teresa Valdez Klein
· 3 years ago
We'll all be thinking about you and your family, Robert.
RBA
· 3 years ago
When blog touches on the very personal... that's what makes it a blog.
Wishing you and your mom all the best.
Greg Hughes
· 3 years ago
Robert - My thoughts and prayers are with you, your brothers and your mom. I have experienced stroke within my own family in the past. Like I told Alex, if there is anything at all I can do, please just let me know. You guys know how to reach me.
greg
Aaron Pratt
· 3 years ago
This type of stuff is tough, my dad just had heart surgery, and the years are passing, but during these times we get chance to get closer to those who we might have not had a chance to tell them that we love them yes?
It's strange how things work, best wishes Robert and family!!
John C. Welch
· 3 years ago
Dude, this sucks, and that's the smartest thing I can say. I do envy you one thing and that's the ability to go and be there when shit like this goes down. I found out my mom had died from a thousand miles away, and a third party.
Whatever the reason for y'all not being close, if you can, set it aside. Even if it's still something major for you, it can be set aside for a little while at least.
Bryan
· 3 years ago
Robert,
You asked for info from those who have had family members suffer from a stroke, and while my heart goes out to you and your family, I thought I'd share some hard news from my own experience.
This incredibly articulate woman could no longer speak comprehensibly. It was as if she could hear fully formed words in her brain, but they came out complete gibberish. The frustration and depression was almost too much to bear -- for her and the family.
Unable to communicate, and in increasing decline of her faculties (overall weakened state, mentally and physically), she moved in with my mother. My sister later had to move in as well to help take care of her. For over two years my sister was a near fulltime caregiver, only getting breaks when my mother came home from work, tired from the workday, only to face the emotional trauma of seeing and caring for her own mother as if she were a child.
Treatments were futile, physical therapy was unhelpful, and our family didn't have money for external care. It was a bad situation, and one from which my sister still bears scars.
In summary, I would say that, as difficult as this upcoming week will be, steel yourself for a much much more difficult time ahead. Whether the damage from the stroke is physical, mental, or both, the effect on your mother will likely be dramatic. Additionally, and perhaps more importantly, don't forget the collateral damage this will cause the rest of your family -- particularly if they were closer to her than you.
I will also use this opportunity to stress to anyone reading this the importance of Long Term Care insurance. If you have senior family members, this can be far more important than life insurance. The costs of in-home care, hospices, or live-in facilities are staggering and can financially devastate a family already in emotional crisis. And these days, with the dramatic increase in efficacy of interventional medicine, the likelihood of needing it increases every year.
My prayers go out to your mother and you and your family. My mother in law had massive strokes many years ago and still lived another 25 years so it is not a death sentence. Things to ask about are how the stroke is going to effect things like speech and thought processes. Physical paralysis is one of the easier things to deal with. Many times a stroke will effect a person's ability to talk and to process information. That is a larger concern in my opinion. It all depends on what part(s) of the brain are hit by the stroke.
Matt Gerlach
· 3 years ago
I am truly sorry to hear that. My grandmother had the same situation around when she was 46 (She is about 76 now). I am glad everyday that she is alive.
I hope she has a good recovery.
Eddie Traversa
· 3 years ago
Robert sorry to hear about your mother.
This site has some pretty good info on strokes and heart disease.
Sorry to hear about your mother. I hope she'll be ok.
Diego
· 3 years ago
Best of luck!
Steve McCarthy
· 3 years ago
Robert - sorry to hear about your mom. one thing I do (w/4kids & elderly parents) that may help - when you are talking to doctors - take notes - it's often emotional and it's complicated and you walk out of the hospital trying to remember exactly what they said - you feel a bit better staying on top of it too. Steve
My prayers are with your family, Robert. Hang in there.
Joe Putnam
· 3 years ago
Buddy, I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. I'm going to give it to you straight and without any bullshit. You have to get on a plane and go see your Mom. You need to do it right away, today! If your Mom might die and you have not been that close then there is a reason for it. You have to make sure that both of you have the chance to tell each other anything that needs to be said. Think if your Mother died tomorrow and wasn't there anymore. You mighty not be able to think of anything you want to say off hand but go anyway this is the stuff life is made of. This is your chance to deal with any issues and to be comfortable with her passing. Sorry for what may seem like a heavy psyc comment...
These are just my feelings. I read your headline about your Mother and it was the first thing I've ever read on this website, so if there are other posts related to this information that make me sound like an idiot, forgive me. Also, I know your situation may be a lot different than mine. I'm really close to my Mom but if something else has happened that can't be resolved between the two of you and if this advice is not appropriate please forgive me.
When my Dad died in a car accident I didn't know what to do. There is no manual about what is right and what is wrong. I asked my Sister and she said I should fly down there right away. I told her I'd look into flights and get there in a couple of days and she said "Oh Joe, I think you better get on the next plane you can. Go to the airport right now and get a flight home". I've often thought about that advice and I'm really glad that I took the advice and did what I could to get there. It's worth any price, any inconvenience, to be able to say you did what you could. Call it peace of mind. I'm just trying to pass along some advice that I really appreciated.
Robert -- sorry to hear about your Mom; I just went through something similar with my Mom over the past month.
As others have said: take notes when you talk with the doctors; talk with your Mom about what SHE wants in the way of treatment (and have her complete an Advance Directive if at all possible); talk with the nurses, too -- they are your Mom's first line of defense and best allies while she's in the hospital.
Keep as calm as possible.
And I wish your Mom a refuah shleymah.
Rohan Maloney
· 3 years ago
Mate, sometimes its a shitty and unfair world. I hope that you have already of the worst news. If not I hope that your mums remaining time with you is pain free and relative comfortable. Strokes are those fickle things that can either kill you outright or take an edge of you that makes even the most basic task very very hard. Of course your in everyones prays and thoughts. Hang in there Rohan
Fred Sampson
· 3 years ago
Robert-- Best wishes and sympathies for you and your mom and the rest of the family. I wish the best for your mother, but please take this as a reminder to you to take care of yourself, too.
My grandfather had a stroke at age 60, and lived another 22 years. My mother has had a series of small strokes, leaving her with dementia. And I had a small one early last month, and I'm all of 53. There's a genetic component to cardiovascular disease (both heart troubles and stroke), so look out.
Regards, Fred
Josh
· 3 years ago
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I feel for you. Today my mom was informed that she has a malignant tumor, a recurrence of the cancer she fought back a year ago. We thought she was clear, but it has apparently been growing since she finished chemotherapy.
I know it's rough--I'm right in the middle of trying to deal with the information, too. All I can do is echo the sentiment that you should be with her and give your support. Good luck to you and your family.
Anthony Baron
· 3 years ago
Robert,
I'm very sorry to read such bad news. I wish your mother, yourself and your family good luck with whatever lies ahead. I'll say a prayer for her.
Venky Krishnamoorthy
· 3 years ago
Hi Rob, My prayers for you and your mom. My brother is a cancer surgeon and lives in Cinnci. Pls let me know, if I can be of any help
Venky Pittsburgh
Will Pate
· 3 years ago
Peace and prayers to you, Robert my friend.
Alex Williams
· 3 years ago
Hey, Robert -- Sorry to hear the news. We wish your Mom the best. Judy, who is a nurse, has some suggestions.
Get referrals from your mom's primary physician for physical therapy, occupational thereapy, speech language patholigists, dieticians. She said they'll help immensely. They can help you and your family cope with the reality of what she'll neeed for the tasks of daily living.
Wishing you the best. Alex.
Andrew Venegas
· 3 years ago
My prayers to you and your family.
Dmad
· 3 years ago
Robert,
I lost my Mom to congestive heart failure (CHF) last year. I sympathize with your situation and wish the best medical care possible for your Mom. CHF seems to be one of the overlooked diseases of the heart. Couple that with a stroke and it can be quite overwhelming.
I second what Joeput said. Get there as fast as you can and spend as much time with her has you can. In 5 or 10 years no one will give a shit about what Microsoft was doing or who was blogging about what, but your family and your Mom will remember the time you spent with them. And that you will have with you the rest of your life. Everything else is trivial.
Brian McNitt
· 3 years ago
Sending good thoughts.
Doug Mahugh
· 3 years ago
One general thing regarding how strokes are categorized is left-side/right-side, with specific behavioral traits associated with which area of the brain was affected. I won't try to characterize because I'm no expert, but my father's altered behavior after his stroke matched those patterns in many ways. So that might be something to ask about or read up on.
Good luck.
met
· 3 years ago
I hope she gets well and she gets to meet you.
Farhan
· 3 years ago
I am so sorry about you Mom - she will be in my prayers. Wishing her a speedy and full recovery.
Ram
· 3 years ago
Best wishes to your Mom's speedy recovery, Robert. Take care - Things will turn out well for you all.
BoredRabbit
· 3 years ago
Best regards and best of luck to your mom! Hope she makes it out without long term effects.
glitchsoft
· 3 years ago
Sorry to hear that, best of luck for now and the future.
Ahmad Mahdi
· 3 years ago
Robert, I hope your mom is feeling better and recovers fully, there is a good chance that there may not be any paralysis or anything else at all. I hope that's how it turns out. I lost my mom at a young age and its not pleasant, I hope you don't have to experience that for many more years.
Robert, some of the comment are right, if your mom's life is at risk get on a plane and go see her. Granted I was quite close to my dad, and I love him very much but he died and I should have realized it was coming. I should have spent more time with him. I should have told him more how I felt. I should have spent these last moments with him. Don't live with regrets. It hurts.
MGB
· 3 years ago
Your Mom is in my prayers Robert. God bless her, you and your family in Jesus's name.
Dean Giustini
· 3 years ago
Google, health and the meaning of life.... weblogs.elearning.ubc.ca/googlescholar
...odd that you would be going through something the same week as I am Robert
Dean
trentini
· 3 years ago
Hope your Mother makes a speedy recovery Robert.
All the best, Matt
james
· 3 years ago
Good thoughts about your mom and you from here.
George
· 3 years ago
Pray that you mum gets better and to all of your family in coping
weiyen
· 3 years ago
Hi Robert,
I had a stroke when I was born it affected the right side of my body. I was having those mechanical anklets (you know like the ones in Forrest Gump?) Eventually I was able to get out of that, thru hard work exercising my feet. My right hand still needs work. I should be exercising it.
Your mum sounds like a strong person, and I am sure that she will pull through. She might face walking and hand movement disabilities but through exercise and finding new ways to do things I am sure that she will be able to cope with what life has for her. :)
DrumsNWhistles
· 3 years ago
Robert,
My prayers go with you and your family. It is so difficult to receive news like this from a distance -- I'm glad you're going to be with her, and will pray that cancer is not an issue in this case.
Having just gone through this with my grandmother, the best advice I can offer is to prepare to be an advocate for her -- question everything, research it as much as you possibly can, and keep your mind open to all of her options.
Take care.
Morrie
· 3 years ago
Peace Robert, to you and your family. I hope your Mum makes a rapid recovery, although it will seem slow to you all, and certainly her. Its probably a matter for you all to get used to any short/medium term speech impediments, limb disfunction etc, but she'll look at this as a strengthening experience, and maybe it'll be a bonding experience for all of you. Thoughts and preayers are with you.
JonUK
· 3 years ago
Hi, Hope everything gets better for everybody. For information you could do worse than visiting out National Health Service information site, NHS Direct: http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk.
I pray that you and your family get the strength to pull you through these hard times. My grandfather had a stroke a few years ago that caused paralysis of his right side and also affected his speech.
The key is whether or not your mum received medical attention immediately after she got her stroke. I know stroke victims who have pulled through because they received immediate medical aid.
I hope and pray that your mum gets better. Sincere wishes to your mum and family. hang in there Robert. Keep the faith.
Rachel
· 3 years ago
Good thoughts to you..hope all goes well.
FMF
· 3 years ago
Sorry to hear this. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Marshall Harrison
· 3 years ago
Robert — sorry to hear about your Mom. You, your Mom and your family are in my prayers. I called my Mom last night to talk (she is 79). For what ever reason you two aren't close, work hard on changing that.
Ed Cone
· 3 years ago
Best to you and your family, Scoble.
Charlie Phelps
· 3 years ago
Thinking of you and your Mom.
jason m
· 3 years ago
Scoble
best of luck with your mom - my grandfather had a stroke last year. feel free to email me if you have any questions
Faithful Reader
· 3 years ago
Me and my family's thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
shel israel
· 3 years ago
My hopes and best thoughts are with your mom. Good luck in Mo9ntana, partner.
shel israel
· 3 years ago
My hopes and best thoughts are with your mom. Good luck in Montana, partner.
Jeff Schiller
· 3 years ago
Robert,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your Mom today.
Jeff
Alex Barnett
· 3 years ago
Robert,
Our family's thoughts are with you and your mother.
Alex.
Peter Rip
· 3 years ago
Robert -- Don't give up hope. My mother had CHF. I got a call telling me from the hospital that "this is it". After trying everything, they put her on a protocol for a CHF drug that eventually failed FDA trial for lack of efficacy. Yet she lived another 11 years, being the longest surviving patient on the drug (Manoplax).
There is always hope.
Eric Gunnerson
· 3 years ago
Robert,
People who have had clots often need to be on blood-thinners for a period of months (if not longer). This imposes activity restrictions (ie don't do anything where you'd hit your head), some dietary restrictions, and requires periodic visits to the "coagulation clinic" to maintain the right level of medication.
Best of luck
Eric
Alfredo Octavio
· 3 years ago
Best Wishes to you and your Mom, Robert.
fweisser
· 3 years ago
My husband & I just went through losing his dad to a malignant brain tumor. I want to expand on the advice to take notes - BE AGGRESSIVE IN GETTING ANSWERS. And be aggressive in getting follow up stuff scheduled. Don't be rude, but also don't take "No" and especially don't take "we'll get back to you."
They won't. Period. Between the crazy schedules, the fractured delivery of medical "services" and the psychopathic situation of health insurance, no one will call you back and no one will follow up. My father-in-law DIED of a treatable cancer because not a stinking one of the medical providers followed up quickly enough that he could start radiation treatment in time. And the insurance comapnies dragged their heels. I am firmly convinced they would rather let someone die than pay for a procedure.
So keep right on top of the situation. Tag-team with your siblings so no one person gets worn out. Write up everything and repeat it back to whomever told it to you. Document dates, times, and names. And if they say "We'll do this later," your instant (polite but firm) response is "No. You will do it NOW."
Fingers crossed for the best possible outcome.
Evan Erwin
· 3 years ago
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear this Robert. I hope she feels /gets better soon!
Tim Marman
· 3 years ago
Sorry to hear. Your mom and your family are in our thoughts...
Rick Mahn
· 3 years ago
Robert, My hopes and prayers are with you and yours through this troubling period.
-Rick
Bryan
· 3 years ago
Best wishes and hopes for your Mom and your entire family.
Jay
· 3 years ago
Hello Robert, Best wishes to you and your Mom.
Steve Kirks
· 3 years ago
Best wishes, Scoble.
Robert Scoble
· 3 years ago
Thanks everyone for your kind wishes! My brothers and I just arrived in Montana.
Abby
· 3 years ago
Keep the faith!
John Tokash
· 3 years ago
Robert,
Our thoughts are with you, your family and especially your mother.
My Mum died of pneumonia last year 3 months after a severe stroke removed her power of speech and her ability to eat. It was a long 3 months, trying to relate to her, working out what she could understand. She was angry, looking daggers at the nurses. The hospital here in Dublin wasn't great, but the staff were wonderful. late night vigils, coffee from a local all night petrol station. 3 things I would say to you Robert: remember to give her morphine (the junior doc. who was on the night she died didnt want to); it may/shoul bring you closer to your family, and to her; if it is curtains, it will knock you out for quite a long time ( 6 months and counting for me). Blessings to you, brother.
Udo
· 3 years ago
I am very sorry to hear that. My best wishes for your mom's recovery. One thing about strokes is that our brains can be amazingly redundant and flexible, so you should never lose hope even if things may not be looking so good at some point in time.
In some hospitals you have to put pressure on doctors though in order to get a good and speedy treatment (timing is important). Don't be intimidated by them, they are accountable.
Paul
· 3 years ago
I wish you, your mom and your family all the best Robert. It is an awful experience just knowing your parent is ill.
Jackson
· 3 years ago
Robert, thinking of you and your mom.
Jason Bogovich
· 3 years ago
My thoughts are with you and your family Robert! Stay positive...
Eugene Chan
· 3 years ago
Positive vibes to your mom, you and your family. Speedy recovery.
Joe W
· 3 years ago
Robert, best wishes and prayers for the best outcome for your Mom
In scanning the posts (there are over 100 at this time), I'm surprised at the lack of comment about the importance of keeping close to family and friends. You say you and your Mom are not close. That is sad. The reason is unimportant.
When I was 31 my parents died from cancer five months apart. In 1991, at age 43, I survived a thoracic aortic aneurysm (85% who have one die a sudden death). Since then I have made a much greater effort to stay close to those I care about. I try to see the good in everyone and avoid being too judgemental.
I encourage everyone to use the unfortunate news of your Mom's stroke as a catalyst to connect or reconnect with people they care about.
Ann
· 3 years ago
Robert, I just lost my mom. Get to Montana. Don't wait. Real life is your family. Real life is your emotional life. Close or not your mom is your family. Be there, experience life, no matter what happens. thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dion HInchcliffe
· 3 years ago
Robert,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother.
I am a bit familiar with this situation however. My father had a serious stroke when he was quite young (in his 40s) and it took years to recover. The paralysis can be utterly devastating and the victim can feel extremely sorry for themselves for a long time, whether they admit it to others or not.
My father came back from his stroke in ways that are hard to believe (not by recovery of full mobility either) and showed me what is possible with will and determination. But only after he had learned to accept it, then live with it, and finally to surpass it. It just takes time, more time, and support of friends and family.
Best of wishes to you and yours.
Dion Hinchcliffe
Christian Liensberger
· 3 years ago
Hi, fly to her. It is very important for your mom to have you there now! People in a coma feel if family is around. I bet she is so happy to see her son!
Roberto J. Dohnert
· 3 years ago
Sorry about your mom Robert. Its tough but good luck.
Wolf-Dieter
· 3 years ago
All the best for your Mom. And all the best for you and your family.
Best of wishes, Wolf-Dieter
Mr. Dew
· 3 years ago
Hope your mom gets well soon. :) I think she'll be touched if she looks at this page seeing so many people wishing her well.
JB
· 3 years ago
Good luck, Robert -- thinking of you and yours...
Gary Russo
· 3 years ago
Hello Robert,
Sending prayers and best wishes to you, your Mother, and the rest of your family.
I've been there too. I know how difficult it can be.
I lost my mother a few years ago and it took the wind out of me. Friends and family will certainly help.
Ennui
· 3 years ago
best of luck, scoble
jarg
· 3 years ago
Robert, best wishes and prayers. jarg
Shree..\\
· 3 years ago
Best wishes for your mom’s recovery.
Pramod
· 3 years ago
Best of Luck to you and your mom.
Eric Eggertson
· 3 years ago
Sorry to hear the news, Robert.
Hasan
· 3 years ago
Hope she will get well soon.
gardenoftheheart
· 3 years ago
I am praying for you and your mom! May God's peace be upon you! Debra
mark
· 3 years ago
Best wishes for you Hopefully all things will be ok
bubba
· 3 years ago
My heart and postive wishes go to you and your family! Let me know if I can help in anyway Robert!
Howard Greenstein
· 3 years ago
Robert, Only the best wishes for your Mother. The best for a speedy recovery.
Howard Greenstein
Tommy
· 3 years ago
Sorry to hear about this Robert. I just got back to SVC from visiting my dad who also suffered CHF as well. Fortunately he's ok, but has to steer clear of salty and fast foods. I truly hope your mom has the same fortunate outcome.
The news was really rough for me, but we're taking steps to make sure he's ok. Anyway, I hope everything works out for your mother...and remember...low sodium.
A side note: I've started an "extreme" low sodium diet and I've already dropped about 5 pounds in a week. I'm aiming to get healthy over the next year and hope that whatever causes CHF hasn't already screwed me up enough that I'll be in the same shape as my dad when I'm his age. Just a thought for everyone...I think this stuff happens because of a lifetime of self "abuse" from poor diet and health. I'm 31 and I intend to stop this nonsense right here because even though I love my dad, this is the one way I do not want to be like him.
Jack Yan
· 3 years ago
Robert, I hope your mother heads for a great recovery. Please also remember to look at all avenues for healing. Having lost my mother to cancer, you don’t want any regrets from not doing all you can do.
Brett Nordquist
· 3 years ago
Sorry to hear about your mom, Robert. Best wishes for a fast recovery. This could very well bring you closer together.
Jeff Clavier
· 3 years ago
Robert,
Sorry to hear about your Mom. Best wishes to her and the whole family.
J.
hugh macleod
· 3 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear about this... prayers and love...
Jope
· 3 years ago
All the best to you and your family, Robert. This rings *very* close to home, so here's keeping my fingers crossed...
doozzo
· 3 years ago
I am so sorry Robert.
Lots of strength,
Doozzo
Tom Raftery
· 3 years ago
Robert, My Mom had a stroke and heart attack in October last year. Feel free to email me (tom@tomrafteryit.net) or phone me (+353 86 384 0828) to have a chat.
Best of luck.
Tom.
Eric D. Burdo
· 3 years ago
Robert, We are praying for you and your family.
Mark Harris
· 3 years ago
I am very sorry to hear about your Mom. Best wishes to her and the whole family. Best Mark
Livinus Nosike
· 3 years ago
Dear friends,
Thanks for the concern you have shown on our friends Scobleizer's mum's situation.
I and few friends have decided to dedicate saturday afternoon to talk about this at the free chatroom in www.livinusnosike.com.
Hope to see you there. Livinus Nosike
sxoop
· 3 years ago
My Mom had a stroke and suffered paralysis on the right side of her body. With physiotherapy she made a good recovery. It takes time though. My thoughts are with you.
amen
· 3 years ago
I’m very sorry to hear about this. :(
monkeyleader
· 3 years ago
Sorry to hear the news - hope your holding up okay ..
Nige
Patrick Dodds
· 3 years ago
Good luck to you and all your family and look after each other together won't you?
Mark Webb
· 3 years ago
I'm very sorry to hear your news and you will be in my thoughts. Best wishes to you and your family.
Livinus Nosike
· 3 years ago
Scoble, Remember we are all thinking about you and wishing you the best for your mother's recovery. Glad you are learning to make up whatever differences might have existed between you.
I don't agree with Tinyscreenful that she is not expected to live out the week - pessimism won't help.
Tom, sorry we couldn't contact you for the chat last week. Join us this sartuday. Click on my site and on chatroom to join us.
Cheers, Livinus
Wilena
· 3 years ago
I am not sure how things are going for you, but I ran into this website and felt the need to leave a message. Please, don't always trust Dr.'s. My mom was admitted to the hospital on July 31, 2006 diagnosed with CHF, released from the hospital on August 02, 2006 with 4 new meications and on August 06, 2006, I received the worst phone call of my life...My 48 year old mother had died at home alone. They are thinking possibly a heart attack or a stroke. I am still waiting for the final results. Tonight it will be 4 weeks since I got that horrific information and I miss her so bad I can hardly stand it. I remember before she left the hosptial saying, don't you think you stay and see how the medicine works? She told me the Dr. said it was fine and to come back in 2 weeks, those 2 weeks never came for her..only 4 days. If you are still dealing with your situation - God Bless and Take Care!
Strokes can affect people in a variety of different ways, some lightly and others horribly. When you get there take the time with her. As you said, you two weren’t that close, but at least you may have some time with her which is better than the alternative. I lost my father last year unexpectedly, and we were not as close either.
hospital
· 2 years ago
I’m sorry to hear about your mom. I feel for you. Today my mom was informed that she has a malignant tumor, a recurrence of the cancer she fought back a year ago. We thought she was clear, but it has apparently been growing since she finished chemotherapy.
All Comments
My mom is very stubborn. I bet she was feeling pain for a while and not willing to go to the doctor. There's a lesson there that I hope I remember.
Good luck to her, there’s going to be a log of people wishing her all of the best.
The Scoble commentosphere, fanboys and curmudgeons alike, would not exist without her.
Our prayers are with you and your family. Educating yourself on the specifics is a good thing but don't let it get you down. A positive attitude makes a huge difference for you and your family. Hang in there and remember that the love of family and friends can carry one through the toughest of times.
Remember that your body tells you things for a reason. My dad did the same thing ignored the symptoms and ended up having a heart attack. He is doing well now but these events should be a lesson to everyone to take better care of themselves. We often get to busy in our lives or put our selves to the side to take care of others. I try to tell myself on a regular basis not to ignore my own needs when it comes to my health but often find the “suck it up” attitude of a John Wayne era still pervading into my psyche.
We are all hoping for the best.
Sincerely,
John Anthony Hartman
All our best!
Again, good luck to you and your family.
Sorry to hear about this. My dad had a stroke, and then another and then another. He eventually passed away due to pneumonia (after 5 strokes and about 10 years). Strokes can kill but they usually don't. They weaken you and something else is causes death. of course, as with anything, there are exceptions.
The level of paralysis is a variable based on the stroke, but it gets better from whatever the base conditions is, and is some cases is hard to discern after a couple of years.
If you want to talk ping me on email and I'll send you my cell number. I dealt with this over a long period (20 years ago now though).
Best
Keith
ceo/edgeio
Very sorry to hear this. I recently lost my Mom to congestive heart failure and even though she was 90, it was very hard.
End of life or potential end of life decisions about health care are difficult and emotionally wrenching. Talk about it with your Mom if she will, and make sure that she's made her wishes known. Keep in mind her welfare, act from the heart and you'll be OK. Most of all, take care of yourself - try to get sleep, talk to your friends and realize this is a part of life.
This might be presumptuous, but since we're both in Seattle (though I know you're in Montana for this)... if you want to chat with someone who's been there recently drop me a line. I'm at rick at rickgregory dot org.
I'll keep you and your mother, and family, in my prayers. God bless her, and may He help her towards a full recovery. We all wish you and she the best.
Will be praying for her and everybody else who is going through this.
I'm really to sorry hear that.
My father-in-law had a stroke. As I remember the most important thing was to get him into rehabilitation as soon as possible.
I'm sure the doctor's will have that in mind.
Good luck -- I hope it goes well for her (and your family).
Robert
Sorry to hear about your mum.
I hope there's good news soon.
Cheers
Des
Sorry to hear the bad news.
My father had a stroke in his mid-40's and had to re-learn how to eat, speak, and most activities we take for granted.
He often felt frustated but his will power helped him recover quite well considering.
He did later have cancer and passed away before he was 50.
So in a way I consider myself lucky. I just turned 50 last week.
Keep your spirit, best of luck (merde as we say in France)
Serge
http://www.sergetheconcierge.com
Take care
Ken
I lost my mom and the aunt who helped me through my mom's death this year. Needless to say, my thoughts are with your mom, you, and the rest of your family.
Say the things to her you need to say. Sing a song, say a poem. And be there for her. Whatever that means with your relationship.
Make the docs explain things (they likely will). And try to be there when the shifts change for the nurses.
And don't forget to leave the hospital and take time for yourself. You can't be there all the time.
Hang in there, Robert. Again, my best to your mom and your family.
Hope things turn out well for you and your family.
Though you say that you aren't too close to your Mom, I hope this gives you a chance to draw nearer. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Wishing you and your mom all the best.
greg
It's strange how things work, best wishes Robert and family!!
Whatever the reason for y'all not being close, if you can, set it aside. Even if it's still something major for you, it can be set aside for a little while at least.
You asked for info from those who have had family members suffer from a stroke, and while my heart goes out to you and your family, I thought I'd share some hard news from my own experience.
My grandmother, a brilliant woman by any standard, had a stroke when in her 70s. She had slight paralysis, but what was most devastating was the aphasia (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphasia or http://www.aphasia.org/).
This incredibly articulate woman could no longer speak comprehensibly. It was as if she could hear fully formed words in her brain, but they came out complete gibberish. The frustration and depression was almost too much to bear -- for her and the family.
Unable to communicate, and in increasing decline of her faculties (overall weakened state, mentally and physically), she moved in with my mother. My sister later had to move in as well to help take care of her. For over two years my sister was a near fulltime caregiver, only getting breaks when my mother came home from work, tired from the workday, only to face the emotional trauma of seeing and caring for her own mother as if she were a child.
Treatments were futile, physical therapy was unhelpful, and our family didn't have money for external care. It was a bad situation, and one from which my sister still bears scars.
In summary, I would say that, as difficult as this upcoming week will be, steel yourself for a much much more difficult time ahead. Whether the damage from the stroke is physical, mental, or both, the effect on your mother will likely be dramatic. Additionally, and perhaps more importantly, don't forget the collateral damage this will cause the rest of your family -- particularly if they were closer to her than you.
I will also use this opportunity to stress to anyone reading this the importance of Long Term Care insurance. If you have senior family members, this can be far more important than life insurance. The costs of in-home care, hospices, or live-in facilities are staggering and can financially devastate a family already in emotional crisis. And these days, with the dramatic increase in efficacy of interventional medicine, the likelihood of needing it increases every year.
See http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/personal-fin...
Good luck to you and your family, Robert.
Bryan
I hope she has a good recovery.
This site has some pretty good info on strokes and heart disease.
http://heart.healthcentersonline.com/stroke/?ge...
Steve
http://www.strokeassociation.org/presenter.jhtm...
These are just my feelings. I read your headline about your Mother and it was the first thing I've ever read on this website, so if there are other posts related to this information that make me sound like an idiot, forgive me. Also, I know your situation may be a lot different than mine. I'm really close to my Mom but if something else has happened that can't be resolved between the two of you and if this advice is not appropriate please forgive me.
When my Dad died in a car accident I didn't know what to do. There is no manual about what is right and what is wrong. I asked my Sister and she said I should fly down there right away. I told her I'd look into flights and get there in a couple of days and she said "Oh Joe, I think you better get on the next plane you can. Go to the airport right now and get a flight home". I've often thought about that advice and I'm really glad that I took the advice and did what I could to get there. It's worth any price, any inconvenience, to be able to say you did what you could. Call it peace of mind. I'm just trying to pass along some advice that I really appreciated.
Sincerely,
Joe
joeput@gmail.com
http://mightyjoesfree.blogspot.com/
As others have said: take notes when you talk with the doctors; talk with your Mom about what SHE wants in the way of treatment (and have her complete an Advance Directive if at all possible); talk with the nurses, too -- they are your Mom's first line of defense and best allies while she's in the hospital.
Keep as calm as possible.
And I wish your Mom a refuah shleymah.
Hang in there
Rohan
Best wishes and sympathies for you and your mom and the rest of the family. I wish the best for your mother, but please take this as a reminder to you to take care of yourself, too.
My grandfather had a stroke at age 60, and lived another 22 years. My mother has had a series of small strokes, leaving her with dementia. And I had a small one early last month, and I'm all of 53. There's a genetic component to cardiovascular disease (both heart troubles and stroke), so look out.
Regards,
Fred
I know it's rough--I'm right in the middle of trying to deal with the information, too. All I can do is echo the sentiment that you should be with her and give your support. Good luck to you and your family.
I'm very sorry to read such bad news. I wish your mother, yourself and your family good luck with whatever lies ahead. I'll say a prayer for her.
Venky
Pittsburgh
Get referrals from your mom's primary physician for physical therapy, occupational thereapy, speech language patholigists, dieticians. She said they'll help immensely. They can help you and your family cope with the reality of what she'll neeed for the tasks of daily living.
Wishing you the best. Alex.
I lost my Mom to congestive heart failure (CHF) last year. I sympathize with your situation and wish the best medical care possible for your Mom. CHF seems to be one of the overlooked diseases of the heart. Couple that with a stroke and it can be quite overwhelming.
I second what Joeput said. Get there as fast as you can and spend as much time with her has you can. In 5 or 10 years no one will give a shit about what Microsoft was doing or who was blogging about what, but your family and your Mom will remember the time you spent with them. And that you will have with you the rest of your life. Everything else is trivial.
Good luck.
welcome to http://zyzg.org
weblogs.elearning.ubc.ca/googlescholar
...odd that you would be going through something the same week as I am Robert
Dean
All the best,
Matt
I had a stroke when I was born it affected the right side of my body. I was having those mechanical anklets (you know like the ones in Forrest Gump?) Eventually I was able to get out of that, thru hard work exercising my feet. My right hand still needs work. I should be exercising it.
Your mum sounds like a strong person, and I am sure that she will pull through. She might face walking and hand movement disabilities but through exercise and finding new ways to do things I am sure that she will be able to cope with what life has for her. :)
My prayers go with you and your family. It is so difficult to receive news like this from a distance -- I'm glad you're going to be with her, and will pray that cancer is not an issue in this case.
Having just gone through this with my grandmother, the best advice I can offer is to prepare to be an advocate for her -- question everything, research it as much as you possibly can, and keep your mind open to all of her options.
Take care.
God bless,
Jon
I was chatting at www.livinusnosike.com when a frend directed me to www.livinusnosike.wordpress.com where I got this news.
Best wishes
I pray that you and your family get the strength to pull you through these hard times. My grandfather had a stroke a few years ago that caused paralysis of his right side and also affected his speech.
The key is whether or not your mum received medical attention immediately after she got her stroke. I know stroke victims who have pulled through because they received immediate medical aid.
I hope and pray that your mum gets better. Sincere wishes to your mum and family. hang in there Robert. Keep the faith.
best of luck with your mom - my grandfather had a stroke last year. feel free to email me if you have any questions
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your Mom today.
Jeff
Our family's thoughts are with you and your mother.
Alex.
There is always hope.
People who have had clots often need to be on blood-thinners for a period of months (if not longer). This imposes activity restrictions (ie don't do anything where you'd hit your head), some dietary restrictions, and requires periodic visits to the "coagulation clinic" to maintain the right level of medication.
Best of luck
Eric
They won't. Period. Between the crazy schedules, the fractured delivery of medical "services" and the psychopathic situation of health insurance, no one will call you back and no one will follow up. My father-in-law DIED of a treatable cancer because not a stinking one of the medical providers followed up quickly enough that he could start radiation treatment in time. And the insurance comapnies dragged their heels. I am firmly convinced they would rather let someone die than pay for a procedure.
So keep right on top of the situation. Tag-team with your siblings so no one person gets worn out. Write up everything and repeat it back to whomever told it to you. Document dates, times, and names. And if they say "We'll do this later," your instant (polite but firm) response is "No. You will do it NOW."
Fingers crossed for the best possible outcome.
My hopes and prayers are with you and yours through this troubling period.
-Rick
Best wishes to you and your Mom.
Our thoughts are with you, your family and especially your mother.
Good Luck!
John and Beth Tokash
lukerr@volny.cz
lukerr@volny.cz
I'm sorry. Best wishes for your mom's recovery.
Bertrand
In some hospitals you have to put pressure on doctors though in order to get a good and speedy treatment (timing is important). Don't be intimidated by them, they are accountable.
In scanning the posts (there are over 100 at this time), I'm surprised at the lack of comment about the importance of keeping close to family and friends. You say you and your Mom are not close. That is sad. The reason is unimportant.
When I was 31 my parents died from cancer five months apart. In 1991, at age 43, I survived a thoracic aortic aneurysm (85% who have one die a sudden death). Since then I have made a much greater effort to stay close to those I care about. I try to see the good in everyone and avoid being too judgemental.
I encourage everyone to use the unfortunate news of your Mom's stroke as a catalyst to connect or reconnect with people they care about.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother.
I am a bit familiar with this situation however. My father had a serious stroke when he was quite young (in his 40s) and it took years to recover. The paralysis can be utterly devastating and the victim can feel extremely sorry for themselves for a long time, whether they admit it to others or not.
My father came back from his stroke in ways that are hard to believe (not by recovery of full mobility either) and showed me what is possible with will and determination. But only after he had learned to accept it, then live with it, and finally to surpass it. It just takes time, more time, and support of friends and family.
Best of wishes to you and yours.
Dion Hinchcliffe
fly to her. It is very important for your mom to have you there now! People in a coma feel if family is around. I bet she is so happy to see her son!
Best of wishes,
Wolf-Dieter
Sending prayers and best wishes to you, your Mother, and the rest of your family.
I've been there too. I know how difficult it can be.
I lost my mother a few years ago and it took the wind out of me. Friends and family will certainly help.
Only the best wishes for your Mother. The best for a speedy recovery.
Howard Greenstein
The news was really rough for me, but we're taking steps to make sure he's ok. Anyway, I hope everything works out for your mother...and remember...low sodium.
A side note: I've started an "extreme" low sodium diet and I've already dropped about 5 pounds in a week. I'm aiming to get healthy over the next year and hope that whatever causes CHF hasn't already screwed me up enough that I'll be in the same shape as my dad when I'm his age. Just a thought for everyone...I think this stuff happens because of a lifetime of self "abuse" from poor diet and health. I'm 31 and I intend to stop this nonsense right here because even though I love my dad, this is the one way I do not want to be like him.
Sorry to hear about your Mom. Best wishes to her and the whole family.
J.
Lots of strength,
Doozzo
Best of luck.
Tom.
Best
Mark
Thanks for the concern you have shown on our friends Scobleizer's mum's situation.
I and few friends have decided to dedicate saturday afternoon to talk about this at the free chatroom in www.livinusnosike.com.
Hope to see you there.
Livinus Nosike
My thoughts are with you.
Nige
Remember we are all thinking about you and wishing you the best for your mother's recovery. Glad you are learning to make up whatever differences might have existed between you.
I don't agree with Tinyscreenful that she is not expected to live out the week - pessimism won't help.
Tom, sorry we couldn't contact you for the chat last week. Join us this sartuday. Click on my site and on chatroom to join us.
Cheers,
Livinus
Check out all of the free information available here http://www.lose-10-pounds.co.uk
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